Saturday, October 27, 2018

On Fake News, Immigrants, Terrorists and Bombs

"Well I got my windshield so filled up with flags I couldn't see
so I ran my car up the side of a curb and smack into a tree.
By the time they got the doctor down I was already dead
and I can't understand why the man standin' there at the Pearly Gates said:

"Your flag decal won't get you into Heaven anymore.
We're already overcrowded from your dirty little wars.
Y'know Jesus don't like killin' no matter what the reason's for
and your flag decal won't get you into Heaven anymore."
                                                                      John Prine

Terrorists. Immigrants. Bombs (how could we have forgotten about the bombs.) What do these words have to do with "fake news"?
Not to worry. I've activated my magic Foxlandia decoder ring I ordered from a Breitbart-sponsored mega-church, deployed my handy screenshot feature on my Mac, inserted the images below into the decoder ring (because we're all so image-centric these days, aren't we?)  and I came up with the following hologram.

This is the guy who was arrested this morning for mailing pipe bombs to elected officials (including two former presidents) and at least ten other prominent American citizens who have criticized our dear fascist "leader" (in the interest of remaining on trump's enemies list, I will insist on referring to him factually. I hope this interest is widespread by now, because what are you going to say to your grandchildren if you aren't?). He is white (the Seminole Tribe has no record of anyone like him being a tribal member or anything related to the tribe he invoked). Got it? OK, now scroll down.

Here's another picture of the van the white guy was arrested with. It has sick, violent stickers all over it. You can see public figures and and elected officials with red crosshairs aimed at their vital organs. Trump stickers, in other words. The NRA, of course, is responsible for the crosshairs subculture, and is the reason this guy wasn't arrested just for driving down the streets with such blatant threats of violence to the public. They have this power because they're a terrorist organization with Russian connections, but that's another blog I. For our purposes, it's only necessary to look at the van. It's white. I admit it takes a bit of forensic fortunetelling to see this clearly, but, fortunately I don't need science. I have my Foxlandia decoder ring that gives me a ringside seat (so to speak) into trumpworld and Voila! This white van, owned by a white guy caught engaging in a white terrorist act that would have had him shot in a New York minute if he wasn't...y'know...white, is "fake news." Got it? OK. Scroll down.

This is Gregory Bush. He's the guy who entered a grocery store in Jeffersontown, Ky, last week and shot two black people, one fatally, after first trying to enter an African-American church nearby. Gregory Bush, as you can see, is white. Fake news, says my decoder ring. Got it? OK, scroll down.

This is Robert Bowers. He just walked into a synagogue with an assault weapon in Pittsburg (Today! While I was writing this up!!!) and shot 17 people, killing 11. He was able to do this because of such lax gun laws in this country that just about anybody can walk into a sporting goods store and buy an assault weapon with the multi-round-clip accessory package. Just about anybody can do this because of the NRA, who accepted $30 million plus from Russian operatives and gifted it to trump so that he could be our president. But Robert Bowers isn't "just about anybody". He's not an African-American, nor a hispanic, nor a middle-eastern terrorist (note: my magic decoder ring tells me that everyone with family ties to the Middle East are terrorists), nor (and you really need the magic decoder ring to see this) a hippy. Robert Bowers, as you can plainly see, is white. Fake news....oh wait. Here's an interesting tidbit just in: he walked into the synagogue shouting "All Jews must die!" OK. Got it. Scroll down.

Here's a couple pictures of white supremacists rallying in Charlottesville last year. You'll notice that, apart from them being white, their mouths are open. As they brightened our world with their tiki torches--and just before a young woman was run over and killed by one of them--they participated in some good ol' summer-camp-quality chants. One of the chants was "Jews will not replace us!" Maybe these pictures were taken while they were chanting this. Who knows? Anyways, according to my Foxnewslandia decoder ring, these are "really good people". Any other interpretation, of course, is fake news. Got it? OK, scroll down.

Here are some of the people in the migrant caravan currently making their way up from (mostly) Honduras, through Mexico on their way to the U.S. border, where they hope they will be treated with more kindness than the thugs running that little client-state of ours (Honduras.) Right away you can see the difference, can't you? These people are not white, not white at all! Therefore they are rapists and criminals and middle-eastern terrorists, everything, in other words, our dear fascist "leader" says they are without a shred of evidence other than...y'know...wink, wink...they're not white. My Foxlandia decoder ring lights up with warm and fuzzy red, white and blue strobes even as I write these words. Yes, it tells me. You got it right: Be afraid of these people, because they are indeed not white, and this is real news, got it? Be very afraid, OK? Real news. 
Scroll down.

This is your neighbor. Feel warm and fuzzy about him, because he's surrounded by American flags. In fact he's holding one, so he's clearly a good guy. He was photographed at a trump rally just before the election in 2016. He's giving trump the Nazi salute. Feel good about that, my decoder ring tells me, because he's white. Feel good about it, or get over it, or go f... yourself, my decoder ring tells me. My decoder ring really doesn't care which.

I know this analysis is full of holes, but everything is happening so fast, it's the best I can do right now. I want to post it right away, though, even in its garbled state, and send it into Facebook Ether, or wherever pieces like these go these days, because, after all, the mail bombs and the synagogue massacre are so fresh, and news cycles are turned around so quickly now, I feel compelled to put something out there before it all gets cycled out and re-rinsed and forgotten...again...just like the last bombshell from a week ago that we also aren't talking about anymore:

Can we start calling this fascist takeover for what it is? While we still can? 

Both sides of the story, NPR? Not the time to "politicize" acts of homegrown white fascist terrorism?

It's not nice to call people a fascist? 



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